Laura's weblog

Peer Response

SummerDawn99Mouth — Tue, 06 Aug 2002 03:42:06 GMT

Voice- Laura

Audience- Anyone

Say Back- Laura addresses what a MRP is, her topic, and genres.

Bless- Very informative on how you went about in creating your MRP

Address- The only thing I see is that in the first paragraph, you may want to change different types of writing to writings. Other than that; very good!

Peer Response

SummerDawn99Mouth — Tue, 06 Aug 2002 03:37:07 GMT

Voice- Laura

Audience- Anyone

Say Back- Laura is acknowleding everyone that has helped her out during our class this summer.

Bless- Just refer to the previous entry I posted:)

Address- Again, no suggestions.

SummerDawn99Mouth — Tue, 06 Aug 2002 03:36:57 GMT

Peer Response

SummerDawn99Mouth — Tue, 06 Aug 2002 03:34:02 GMT

Voice- Laura

Audience- Anyone

Say Back- Laura is introducing herself.

Bless- I like the way you addressed your expectations for the future.

Address- No suggestions; you addressed everything that was required. Good job!

Peer Response

Jennifer — Mon, 05 Aug 2002 19:49:31 GMT

Voice- Laura
Audience- Anyone
Say Back- Laura is just giving info about herself.
Bless- I think this meets the criteria! Looks good!
Address- You may want to add more personal information about you...just a suggestion. It is something I am thinking about doing. I don't think this information is a necessity.

Peer Response

Jennifer — Mon, 05 Aug 2002 19:47:32 GMT

Voice- Laura
Audience- Anyone
Say Back- Laura is just thanking those that helped her in the class.
Bless- I think this meets the criteria exactly.
Address- Can't think of a thing to change! Oh, wait--a little typo..continued is misspelled :)

Peer Response

Jennifer — Mon, 05 Aug 2002 19:44:56 GMT

Voice- Laura
Audience- Anyone
Say Back- Laura is telling what the project is about and what genres she chose & what she is going to integrate them with.
Bless- Very clear. Gives good explanation of the assignment & what she did.
Address- You may want to explain why you chose the genres you did or why you chose the particular way you did to integrate your peices.

Must have been..

Jennifer — Mon, 05 Aug 2002 03:52:09 GMT

the same computer I was on with you & Frances on Tuesday!! That thing was so slow!!!

Peer Review

MelissaCade — Mon, 05 Aug 2002 03:11:35 GMT

Voice: Laura or someone wanting to inform people about Otisis Media

Audience: The public

Say Back: The author is telling us about Otisis Media.

Bless: The presentation is very informative, easy to read and easy to understand.

Address: Try timing your slides instead of scrolling them.

Peer Review

MelissaCade — Mon, 05 Aug 2002 03:06:44 GMT

Vioce: Laure the SLP

Audience: The parent of a possible client

Say Back: Laura is telling Ethan's mother that he needs speech therapy due to his history of otisis media to prepare him for school.

Bless: This letter was written very professionaly. I like the way you say you will be doing summer therapy, it says you are trying to meet everyone's needs.

Address: Laura everything sounds really good, I'm having trouble finding anything to address. Maybe not mention that you schedule is full, offering summer sessions hints at this.

Peer Response

SummerDawn99Mouth — Mon, 05 Aug 2002 03:04:57 GMT

Voice- SLP

Audience- Anyone

Say Back- The author is expressing the importance of understanding that Chronic Ottitis Media affects more than what most think.

Bless- You have done a great job; very informative

Address- Nothing really...looks good so far!

Just leave it to...

mccomas — Sun, 04 Aug 2002 20:56:22 GMT

...technology, when it's supposed to make our lives easier, the computer shuts down in the middle of a save! Glad to hear you were able to laugh about it.

It was beautiful how you 315 folks were able to teach the MUWP teachers a few things...made me feel really good about the work we're doing in this class.

Peer Response

SummerDawn99Mouth — Sun, 04 Aug 2002 01:30:44 GMT

Voice- Laura's

Audience- Mother

Say Back- Laura is writing to let the mother know the results of Ethan's evaluation and giving suggestions of where to go from the results.

Bless- Overall, I feel this is really good. I like the way you explained what it meant to have delayed language expression and receptive skills instead of assuming that the mother would understand.

Address- No suggestions at this time; I think it looks great!

You are too kind!

SummerDawn99Mouth — Sun, 04 Aug 2002 01:22:36 GMT

That was really nice that you personally acknowledged me; you are just so thoughtful. I would like to express to you a big thanks also for the ideas that you (as well as Jennifer and Melissa) have suggested in your peer responses in order to help me make my MRP better:)

Peer Review

mccomas — Mon, 29 Jul 2002 16:43:55 GMT

Hi Laura,

Good beginning here. You are using this to convey technical information regarding otitis media. What isn't clear to me - and this may come out as you integrate this into your overall project - whose voice is this and who is the audience. Knowing those will let me better judge the appropriateness of the information and language. I suspect it's coming in the clinician's voice...but not sure of the audience.

Peer Response

Jennifer — Mon, 29 Jul 2002 15:47:44 GMT

Voice- Clinician
Audience- Mom
Say Back- The clinician is just telling the mother that her son has a hearing loss due to C.O.M & that his language has been affected.
Bless- I think you have done a good job with this. You explained the language problem & the affects that C.O.M can have on language to the mother well.
Address- You may want to address it like a real letter, with the addresses at the top. I thought at first that you might want to say what a mild conductive loss was, but the audiologist may have explained that- that one is just a thought. One tiny thing- in the next to last paragraph & the first sentence you may want to change or to and:Difficulty pronouncing and hearing sounds could affect Ethan’s reading ability or may make him difficult to understand.

Peer response

Jennifer — Mon, 29 Jul 2002 15:40:53 GMT

Voice- Clinician
Audience- Anyone,well adults- probably parents, teachers, or anyone involved with children.
Say Back- The author is trying to get the point across that chronic otitus media is not something to take lightly. C.O.M. affects more than many think, like language.
Bless- Your slides look good. It is well organized! I think that the slide with the ear will look great once you find a picture!
Address- Just a few things- you need citations after the facts, but I know you left your resource information at home. You may want to add some fun things like transitions from one slide to the next or animation or something. I don't think that you have timings, which is something I still need to work on. I know you were having fun in the sun, but this looks good right now!

Peer Review

mccomas — Sun, 28 Jul 2002 16:32:57 GMT

Hi Laura,

I'm actually going to respond to both journal entries in this one response. You've done a good job of adopting the voice of the parent...that's not as easy as it might seem initially. I'm especially pleased with the emotional pain that comes through in the second journal entry as I think that you've shown very clearly the kind of torment parents go through when they find out their child is imperfect.

I would, like someone else said, at least include a link to the poem in the journal entry so someone might be able to just go there from this entry (and perhaps that will be how you want the poem to appear...as part of the journal...in the sequencing of your genres).

The other thing I wanted to mention was the transition from one journal entry to the other. I think I would kind of like dates on those so I get some sense of elapsed time....

I'm eager to see these all come together...starting to get a feel for how that will happen.

The answer to your...

mccomas — Sun, 28 Jul 2002 12:50:26 GMT

....question is "Yes." It is alright to modify your essential question...happens all the time in research. It's really a natural part of research...what we begin learning helps us to better understand our question so that we can frame it better....it's really hard to formulate a question about something you don't know much about.

Glad to hear you feel like a new person! Don't worry about the revising....there's lots of time the next two weeks to finish that.

Peer Review

MelissaCade — Sat, 27 Jul 2002 15:15:25 GMT

Voice: John Sutton (audiologist)

Audience: SLP (Laura)

Say Back: The author is referring her client for language therapy and stating the reasons why.

Bless: Nice format. The letter sounds very professional and complete.

Address: All I can say is just make sure you get the right format.(even though this one looks great!)

Peer Review

MelissaCade — Sat, 27 Jul 2002 15:09:32 GMT

Voice: Mom

Audience: Herself or it could be anybody she let read the entry.

Say Back: I think Laura is trying to convey the hurt and guilt felt by a mother realizing that her child needs help but also maybe the hope felt after talking to Mrs. Hampton that her child could be helped and maybe a little relief upon hearing Mrs. Hampton say she wasn't at fault.

Bless: There is no question that the journal article was written by a loving mother that is hurting for her son. The emotions really came across.

Address: Put his poem in the jornal entry, it would allow the reader to see what she is writing about.

More Peer Review

mccomas — Sat, 27 Jul 2002 13:06:39 GMT

I think my earlier comments may have been sufficient but thought I'd come back again. I've now read more pieces and the strength of the 5-year old is coming through even more clearly to me in this piece.

I'll be curious to see what you do with it in revision. Nice work!

Peer Review

mccomas — Fri, 26 Jul 2002 23:59:42 GMT

Hi Laura,

I probably can't add much more than your classmates have, but will try. You are probably already aware of what you need in terms of meeting the minimum requirements of the