This past week has been very emotional for me. Finding out that Ethan would need language therapy was unexpected, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I was ready to help him in any way possible. After all, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my little angle. It wasn’t until last night, when I read his poem, that I became overwhelmed with sadness and guilt. After Mrs. Hampton had evaluated Ethan, she helped him to write a poem about what it was like when people talked to him and how these experiences made him feel. I was shocked to learn what his life had been like and how frustrated he was because of it. I cried myself to sleep last night. I was haunted by the fact that my son had been suffering all this time, and I never even noticed. Why didn’t I know? Why didn’t I help him? I felt like a failure as a mother. Surely there was something I could have done to prevent all of this. What kind of mother was I? I was so sure that he would grow to resent me for all of this, and I wouldn’t blame him if he did.
This morning, I decided to go see Mrs. Hampton. I am so glad that I did! She talked with me for over an hour, answering all of my questions and assuring me that it was not my fault. I’m still not able to accept the fact that I am not at least partly to blame. In any case, I know that Ethan is in good hands. With so many people aiding and supporting him, he’s sure to succeed in his therapy.